2 Comments

"it all feels like so much _pressure_. finding partnership is _really_ important to me" - I think this is actually really significant, and I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on it in future posts!

My belief is that this sense of pressure/desperation/hopelessness can act as a major debuff to both taking action, as well as how well you do on dates (for lack of better phrasing on my end). It's part of what "just have fun and be yourself!" is trying to get at, but I agree it's not being communicated effectively. And paradoxically you might have to loosen your grip on your desire to find a partner, to help you find a partner.

Expand full comment

"paradoxically you might have to loosen your grip on your desire to find a partner, to help you find a partner" yeah completely agree!! i think people get goal-focused in a way that's really unhelpful and tends to make them... instrumentalize people in a way that's really counterproductive on top of just *stressing them the hell out*

Expand full comment